


McDonald's Anyone?

by AnimeROL



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Funny, M/M, One Shot, Swearing, klance, mention of drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10824183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeROL/pseuds/AnimeROL
Summary: It started as most things seem to with us: a challenge and a scheme. I mean, who hasn’t ever dreamed of motorizing a shopping cart to take through McDonald’s drive thru at 2am?





	McDonald's Anyone?

“Hunk, my man, I am not taking it all the way back to the store! The whole point of taking it was to minimize the amount of effort to get the groceries home.” Lance and Hunk stood outside their shitty little apartment building talking over a now empty shopping cart as Lance looks around for somewhere to hide it until sundown, when he can ditch it somewhere else. There are two reasons for this: first, he doesn’t feel like getting yelled at by his hag of a landlady for breaking another of her stupid rules (“that fox was hurt, leaving it outside alone and scared would have been heartless, Hunk! Heartless!”). Secondly, it was at least 45 degrees Celsius out and he is not about that life! It was bad enough he had to go get the groceries today without Hunk’s help because the big stud had a (study) date with Shay from his baking class. 

“But isn’t this, like, stealing? Aren’t we gonna get in trouble? And if Deborah sees it…” Hunk looks around nervously for said hag-ish landlady.

“Uhh, that’s why we’re gonna hide it here,” Lance shoved the cart in between some old pallets from when they had some renos done like a hundred years ago. “And then when it cools down later we will ditch it in the creek and get some food!” Lance grins like he’s the greatest genius ever to exist, causing Hunk to sag and heave a long suffering sigh. But the longer they stayed out here in the unforgiving parking lot being baked alive by the blistering sun, Hunk decides to push the point later. 

“Fine we can return it tonight.” Lance thrusts his fist in the air triumphantly and whoops loudly. “We’re still taking it back!”

“Sure man, but for now Mario cart and pizza pops?” Lance opens the door, holding it for Hunk with the ever present grin that always manages to make Hunk forgive him and want to throttle him all at once. 

“You had me at pizza pops,” Hunk says as they walk into the building, momentarily forgetting about the cart.

***

“Lance, really man, the grocery store in only like a block farther than the creek and two blocks closer than the McDonald's! Why don’t we just take it back?” Hunk sighs defeated as Lance shoves the cart down the hill onto the bank below. The water would have taken the cart if not for the recent heat wave that left everything dry and brown. Instead, it just hits more re-earthed junk and tips over with a loud crash that makes them both look around worriedly. Hunk shoots Lance a glare, but instead of answering his earlier question, Lance just shrugs and shoves his hands in his jean pockets and smiles. 

“Food? I’ll buy and even get you a McFlurry if it makes you feel better?” With that, all is forgiven. But these plans are thrown for a loop when they get to the McDonald's and find out that the store is closed and all that’s open is the drive thru (the Mario Cart championship battle royal took a while, okay?). “No worries, we can just walk through.”

“Dude, I don’t think they’ll let you do that.” Hunk followed Lance towards the speaker nonetheless.

“Yeah man, I’ve done it before! They don’t normally care enough to stop you this late at night.”

“Welcome to McDonald's,” the speaker crackles out. “Can I take your order?”

“Yeah, can I get four BigMac meals with root beer and two McFlurries; one Smarties and the other Rolo?”

“Okay, that will be $36.93. Drive through please.” Lance looks to Hunk and grins and starts making motions with his hands like he’s revving a motorcycle and making vroom noises. Hunk shakes his head, but joins him and thanks the speaker before “driving” to the first window. Upon getting to the window; however, they discover that the universe is conspiring against them. At the window stands Keith, Lance’s crush/rival from school who will totally do all he can to fuck up Lance’s night for shits and giggles. And he looks pissed and tired as hell.

“What the hell are you two assclowns doing?” He scowls at them as he opens the window.

“Uh, driving through obviously! That will be on credit please, mullet.” This is the moment Hunk knew they were doomed.

Keith’s scowl deepens as he points to a sign on the window next to him. “No pedestrians in the drive thru, if it’s not motorised you’re screwed. Now, get lost and have a terrible night.” He grins like the Cheshire cat and closes the window.

***

“The nerve of that prick! I’m gonna make his day hell on Monday! Oh yes, I’m making plans man!” Lance rants as they walk home empty handed.

“Lance, please don’t. If you disrupt class again, I’m sure Iverson will have you expelled. McDonald's is not worth it man.” 

“One: McDonald's is so worth it! Two: it’s the principle of the thing! He’s such an ass!” Lance suddenly stops, cutting off Hunk’s response about how much Lance wants that ass. “Hunk!!!!”

“Woah, what man!?” Hunk’s head whips around looking for what alarmed his friend.

“I know how we can get our food! Quickly, help me get the cart back from the creek!”

“The… the cart? You’ve lost me buddy.” Hunk looks to Lance worriedly as his friend starts picking his way down the hill. 

“I bet you and Pidge can motorise the cart! Then that dickhead will have to let us use the drive thru! This is brilliant!” Hunk starts after him because, well it kind of is. After retrieving the cart, taking it home, and stowing it back under the pallets; they head inside and knock on Pidge’s door. Despite the late hour, they answer soon after.

“What’s up?” Pidge leans against the door frame in their over sized t-shirt and pj shorts, short hair in the normal disarray that suggest they have either not brushed it in a week or just stuck their finger in a socket. Either are likely possibilities as Pidge is a brilliant mechanic and robotics major that Hunk shares a few classes with (not in his cooking major, but his mechanics one. Double major! Man is Lance ever proud of his best bud!) 

“We need your help. We’re motorising a shopping cart to get McDonald's. You in?” Hunk and Pidge share a look before Pidge grins, stars in their eyes.

“Hell yes I am!! Let me get dressed!” They slam the door closed and emerge a few minutes later. “Let’s freaking do this!” So they head downstairs and get the cart, bringing it into Pidge’s messy apartment. 

 

Lance is not sure how they did it exactly, since he fell asleep on Pidge’s couch. But after only an hour and a half they have it! A fully motorised shopping cart controlled by a makeshift steering wheel connected to the back two wheels by a mechanism under the cart. Speaking of the back wheels, they have now been replaced by slightly bigger wheels and connected by an axel to allow for easy steering. The wheels have bike chains around them connected to the small motor that he thinks they scavenged from an old lawn mower and a foot bar like that of those old sinks from middle school acts as the brake pedal. Needless to say, it’s a thing of beauty.

“Okay,” Pidge begins as they wipe their hands off on an old, stained towel, “it’s time to put this thing to the test. Who wants McFlurries?” They all grin to each other conspiratorially. Getting the thing down the stairs was an adventure in and of itself, resulting in a lot of grunting, swearing, and a few injuries (“Lance, it’s a broken nail! You’ll be fine! Man the fuck up!” “You don’t understand, Pidge! They were perfect!”). But it was all worth it when they start it up with the pull cord and start out towards the McDonald's with Pidge driving, Lance standing on the back, and Hunk whooping up a storm in the middle. 

They pull up to the window and the same voice from earlier crackles through the speaker, “Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order?”

“Yeah,” starts Lance, “we would like four BigMac meals all with root beer, one chicken Mcnugget meal with iced tea, and three McFlurries two Rolo and one Smarties.”

A sigh comes through the speaker, “McCain, I already told you –“

“Just ring us through! We’re in a motorized vehicle.” Pidge cackles like the gremlin they are and Hunk whoops triumphantly.

“Fine, that will be $45.50. Drive through.”

Pidge takes their foot off the break and they pull forward to the first window. Keith’s stunned face meets them. “What the hell… did you freaking motorised a shopping cart… to get McDonald's… like a bunch of stoner geniuses?” They all burst into laughter and cheering and Lance’s heart melts at the grin that spreads across Keith’s face. “Damn, that’s a first.” He takes their money and rings them in before handing them their food. “Here you freaking go, you crazy assholes. Oh, and Lance? Don’t forget to do the essay we have due tomorrow.” With that he grins again and closes the window.

***

“And that kids, is how Papa impressed your daddy into going out with him!” Lance grins to his two small children as Keith walks up behind him.

“Don’t lie to our kids! I went out with you on a dare from you and goading from Shiro! I still can’t believe you picked me up in that cart…” He smiles fondly and kisses his husband before walking away with the laundry.

Once he was gone, Lance leaned in to his children and whispered, “I’m sure the cart played a role in it,” causing them to giggle uncontrollably.

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to write this to pay tribute to my grade 7 friends and I who did this many years ago. May your trail in life be good to you my friends!


End file.
